Parenting from a place of love and faith

I don’t think many moms will say this about themselves, but they should! ‘I am a good mom’. Yes we make mistakes, I have overreacted and I could have handled things differently. But I learned from it. And my parenting comes from a place of love and faith. Not out of convenience, efficiency, or because of other people’s opinions. But always out of love and faith. And that’s why I find myself a good mom. And I think there are a lot of moms who have doubts and struggles while coping with daily life and obligations, but they are good moms!

“Raising a child is like looking in the mirror many times”

Raising a child is like looking in the mirror many times, it can be confronting but also very helpful. Occasionally I overreacted. And never had it anything to do with my daughter. It was because I was busy, or I was tired, or I was stressed. I needed a moment to realize that I was overreacting. And when I felt calm again I would always apologize to her and I told her why I overreacted. I think it is very important to help your child to understand things by explaining them.

Learning with loving boundaries

Kids have so much to learn and while learning they are trying to see how far they can go, pushing the boundaries. Which is normal and healthy, that’s how they discover and try to make sense of everything. My husband and I have always put loving boundaries in place. We have never punished her for anything. Like taking her phone as a punishment or going to bed early as a punishment. As a toddler sometimes she needed a moment to calm down, but never did we bring this as a punishment, but we explained to her why she needed to take a moment. 

“I think it’s also a bit of history repeating. Like when my parents thought I was watching too much tv”

She is now a teenager and we found that she was on her phone quite a lot for some days. We didn’t want to say ‘It’s time to get off your phone now’. Instead we suggested we do something else together. Like baking cookies or a pie, crafting and painting (my daughter is very creative) or going to the beach for some volleyball. But I think it’s also a bit of history repeating. Like when my parents thought I was watching too much tv when I was a teenager. Only now it’s not the tv, but the phone. I think it’s important to not focus on those kinds of things. She has days she is more on her phone and she has days she is not that much on her phone. And that is fine, I also have days I just need to binge-watch something. 

Paying attention to the mental and physical health

To me it has always been important to pay attention to her mental and physical health. I don’t care about her grades at school, with that I mean that her grades are not what I focus on. Her teachers already do that. I always say to her that she has to be well prepared and do her best. And some courses are suiting her well and with some she struggles and that is okay. We help her study when she needs our help. But every child is different. My daughter is very sensitive and feels a lot of pressure from school. Pushing her would not be helpful in her case. I need to help her get some rest in her head.

Sometimes we just need a day filled with fun

“If I were given a penalty for it, it would have been totally worth it”

When she was younger she would sometimes get overwhelmed and feel very tired. Then I just kept her home for the day to take some rest. When she was 6 years old I took the day off and I called her in sick at school. We went to a theme park together on that Tuesday. And I know it was against the school rules, but she needed a fun day. It was an unforgettable and amazing day, we had so much fun! If I were given a penalty for it, it would have been totally worth it.

Giving support and be a safe haven

“But what I can do is support her and teach her how to recover and come back from it”

I know I can not always protect her. Moments will come that we can only watch from the sideline, things will happen. But what I can do is support her and teach her how to recover and come back from it. And that she can always count on us no matter what. That we are her safe haven.

I have never been an overprotective mom. Of course when she was younger I would oversee situations, keep a close eye and not let her get in any danger. But I would let her experience things for the first time, discovering in her own way at her own pace. 

Experiencing things for the first time, with that in mind, moms also should be gentle for themselves. It’s your first time being a mom, to a baby, a toddler, a teenager. Even if you have more children, it’s your first time being a mom for every child you have.

So don’t be hard on yourself. Let things come from a place of love and calmness.

I have been very hard on myself in the past, so I know it is possible to overcome and leave that behind! Because now I can say ‘I am a good mom’.

No caption needed 😉