First pregnancy

Every preganancy is different. And when I was pregnant I found it comforting and interesting to read about the different experiences of women and their pregancy. This is my here is my experience:

Some people find having a baby is a miracle of life. Other people don’t think it’s a miracle because it happens all the time. I was 24 when our daughter was born. A month after I stopped with birth control and I took a pregnancy test (7 testst to be specific) that said I was 3 weeks pregnant. This was really fast, but looking back on it I do see it as a little miracle that I got pregnant and had a healthy baby. Because I had a hysterectomy when I was 31 (surgical removal of my uterus), I didn’t have a healthy uterus. But, fortunately, I had no idea of this when I was 24.

Being happy and feeling frightened at the same time

“To me the joy and happiness weighed more than the insecurities”

I was so happy to be pregnant, but I also felt frightened at the same time. This must be familiar for mums who were or are having their first baby. Are we ready for this? Will we be okay? Will we manage everything? Can I provide for all the needs of our baby (financially and mentally)? But you have 8 months to prepare, that is comforting. And to me the joy and happiness weighed more than the insecurities. 

We had a feeling the baby was a girl and this was confirmed by the sonographer when I was 13 weeks pregnant. We were thrilled! During the time I was pregnant we named her Meliye. Meliye was my imaginary friend/sister when I was 3 / 4  years old. Even though she was imaginary, I still remember how real she felt to me. She gave me a warm, safe and secure feeling. And we kept Meliye as our daughter’s second name. Her first name is Fayelynn, but we call her Fay (from faith). For me that word was (and was going to be in the future) very meaningful on many levels. My husband and I didn’t need to think long about her name. It felt right.

 I was young and inexperienced

“I was young and inexperienced. But I don’t think there is something wrong with that”

I was looking forward to being pregnant, showing my belly, still dressing nicely. I had this romantic picture in my mind. I was young and inexperienced. But I don’t think there is something wrong with that. Because I went into my pregnancy with joy and without being worried about my health. If someone would have told me about what was waiting for me I would have gotten stressed before getting pregnant, now that wouldn’t have been a good start. 

“Popsicles, with pear flavor to be specific. I had them for breakfast, lunch and dinner”

The first 3 months I had to deal with a lot of morning sickness not only in the morning, but also in the afternoons and evenings. But I found a solution: popsicles, with pear flavor to be specific. I had them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And from month 4 until halfway month 6 I was feeling quite okay. I was tired all the time, my back and hips were aching, but I was happy not to feel nauseous anymore. And my husband massaged my back every evening before we went to sleep! 

Feeling different halfway the 6th month

“But it wasn’t just worrying, I felt there was something coming and I had to stay alert”

But halfway to month 6 I started feeling awfully tired, I could sleep all day and mentally I also didn’t feel well. I know I told people I was worried about my baby and people tried to comfort me and say it’s normal to worry. But it wasn’t just worrying, I felt there was something coming and I had to stay alert.

One day I didn’t feel my baby moving a lot, so I went to the gynecologist. In the hospital they put me on a monitor. Everything seemed okay until the monitor started beeping. There were decelerations in my baby’s heart rate. The doctors told me they would keep me on the monitor and if there are more decelerations I would need a c-section right away. Fortunately her heart rate stayed normal. And I could go home, but for her and my health they put me on bedrest. 

I had several visits at the hospital because the doctors wanted to keep a close eye on me and my baby. During one visit I had to stay in the hospital because I was 2,5 centimeters dilated and my due date was more than a month away. ‘Aha, so that explains why sometimes I felt pain in my belly and my belly became as hard as a rock’, I thought. I was already having contractions.

Putting you and your baby’s health first

“She just responded with an irritated ‘Yes, but when are you coming to work?’”

During that time I was working as an assistant and I kept my boss updated. While I was in the hospital one of the managers from work called me. She was also a mum and had twins. I told her about the complications. She just responded with an irritated ‘Yes, but when are you coming to work?’.

After a night in the hospital I wanted to go home and be with my husband and cats. I was very emotional and exhausted from the pregnancy and complications. I discussed with my husband whether it would be better to quit my job. It was not a healthy environment. I was worried to just feel more stress after the baby would be born, which was not healthy for me and the baby. I quit my job and my boss was understanding and he wished me all the best. 

Getting the ‘getaway bag’ ready

” I did everything to keep my baby healthy and I listened to all the signs my body gave me“

I was just one day home from the hospital. It was somewhere in the evening and my husband was putting the last things in our ‘getaway’ bag, just to have that ready. I finished writing all the addresses on the envelopes of the baby announcements and I went to the toilet. I started to feel a little panic, I was losing blood. My husband called the hospital and they told us to come right away with our getaway bag.

From newborn baby to young lady. Fay sent me this photo when she was doing hair and make up with her friend :).

We started to feel some excitement. And I felt okay, I wasn’t feeling worried, I felt faith. I did everything to keep my baby healthy and I listened to all the signs my body gave me. Now soon we would hold our baby girl for the first time. 

Fay was born premature, a month earlier than the due date. Because she was premature she had to stay in the incubator for a week. As a premature baby she had some ‘startup’ struggles, but she grew into a healthy, happy, lively girl.