The first year after moving to Spain wasn’t easy

To be honest, the first year after moving to Spain wasn’t easy for me. The first weeks I had some adrenaline left in my body, we finally arrived in Spain and everything was new. I felt a lot of excitement. We went to the beach, we went skating, went shopping and went out for dinner. Basically we were living like we were on vacation. But after a few weeks ‘normal life’ started. My husband started working from home again and my daughter went to school. But my life wasn’t the same. I had quit my job and what are you going to do when work isn’t a big part of your life anymore?

“I didn’t take the time to catch a breath and process things”

In theory this sounds fantastic; what are you going to do when work isn’t a big part of your life anymore? But it wasn’t like that in practice. After our normal life started I started to feel awfully tired and I had terrible migraines. The last 5 months I was so busy arranging everything for the emigration that I didn’t take the time to catch a breath and process things. I felt very vulnerable and emotional. 

Starting a new life with a blank canvas

“Until there was a sketch that started to feel like my authentic self”

The first year to me was like a blank canvas, I didn’t know what it was going to look like. But I do know which colors I like. So I started sketching and erasing and sketching and erasing. Until there was a sketch that started to feel like my authentic self. And then I started to colorize. This is a long process and I knew it was important not to rush things, to be patient and to take my time. Like the Spanish say ‘Un poco a poco’, which means little by little.

Where I first felt vulnerable and emotional I started to feel stronger after a while, while I was sketching my canvas. I found new routines and was creating a lifestyle where I can be my authentic self.  A lifestyle where I feed myself, mentally and physically, with healthy and good things.

I found my passions for horses again. The passion I have had for as long as I can remember, it was still there, only hidden in the background. I found out that things that made me happy as a child also make me happy as an adult. But I also discovered new things, like that there is a part in me that is creative.

“Never have I regretted moving to Spain”

The first year there was a lot to take in, a new language, new people, new house, new supermarkets, new environment, new culture and a new way of living. And it takes time and effort. But never have I regretted moving to Spain, never did I thought ‘What if we were still living in Holland?’, because I knew that this was where we were supposed to be. I was focussing on establishing our lives here and I knew that this was going to be my home. I just needed time.

This is home, right here, right now

And now this is home as a home never felt before. I’m still sketching and coloring my canvas. It’s an ongoing growing process and I think that’s wonderful. I keep learning new things and I feel eager to keep learning. I feel that I am where I‘m supposed to be right now and who knows what the future will bring :).

“Open your eyes and heart for the progress and process”

When you have reached a point of change in your life, I think it’s important to keep being persistent even though you are sitting in a rollercoaster of emotions. Find peace in the thought that it takes time to change your life or curtain things in your life. Don’t give yourself a deadline by saying things such as ‘After 3 months I need to have achieved this …..’. But reflect every now and then and open your eyes and heart for the progress and process.

This was our first Mother’s day in Spain.