First we told my parents

We thought it was important to first tell our family about our plans to move to Spain. My parents were visiting us the next day. And a day later we would meet up with my family in law for my mum in law’s birthday. After that we would tell our friends.

“We were telling them very casually that we were planning to move to Spain”

I remember my mum and dad visiting us and we were telling them very casually that we were planning to move to Spain and buy the house that we like so much, which is in the same urbanization as their holiday home. My mum and dad reacted surprised, but also very understanding. They love to be in Spain too. And of course we would still see each other regularly, only not in Holland but in Spain. I saw my dad thinking with a frown when I said that. My dad thought we were only going to buy a holiday home in Spain, like they did. ‘No dad, we don’t have the money or the means to buy another house. We are going to sell our house and move to Spain permanently’. And then it kicked in. But both my mum and dad also saw the opportunity for them to visit their holiday home in Spain more often now.

I do know this was also a big change for my mum and dad. My mum picked up our daughter from school 1 / 2 times a week and spent time with her. That was going to change and I know that that must not have been easy for them in the beginning. But from the beginning my parents have been supportive and shared our enthusiasm. 

Next we told my family in law

Next was telling my family in law. My husband has 3 older brothers and we would see the whole family on the birthday of my mum in law. My husband and I were discussing how to tell them. We didn’t want to do it by text, but we also didn’t want to drop a bomb on my mum in law’s birthday and overwhelm everyone with this news.

So my husband called my mum in law first to tell her about our plans. My mum in law reacted very positively. She said that she was so happy for us, she thought that moving to Spain suited us. And she was looking forward to visiting us on a regular basis.

Of course we knew that for my mum in law it was also a big change and she would miss her weekly moments with us. But throughout the whole process she has been very involved and helpful.

Not looking for approval, but the support meant a lot

We already made our decision about moving to Spain and we were not looking for approval from family, but it meant a lot to us that our parents supported us, stood by us, and shared the happiness and excitement with us.

“Because we were feeling so happy we wanted to avoid an awkward and difficult situation with first reactions of shock and surprisement”

 

Now it was time to inform my husband’s brothers and their wives and kids. My husband and I decided it was best to not overwhelm everyone with the news on my mum in laws birthday.  It would be better to first inform them by text and let the news sink in before we would see each other the next day. In all honesty, for us it felt better too to do it this way. Because we were feeling so happy we wanted to avoid an awkward and difficult situation with first reactions of shock and surprisement. We wanted them to be able to come over the first ‘shock’ before talking about it.

My husband sent the text in the group chat saying we wanted to share our news with them before seeing each other tomorrow, so that the news could sink in first. All brothers responded quite fast and all of them were happy for us. The next day we talked about it extensively and casually with some snacks and drinks. They were all very curious and interested, and also a bit surprised. But mostly supportive and happy for us. 

Together on this journey with the same mindset

I remember one of my sisters in law said she found it really special that this was something my husband and I both equally wanted and that we were going to do this together as a family. I didn’t think about it that way, it just felt obvious to me. But now I realize that being on this journey together with the same mindset is a blessing.